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| Annya making barn-doors look good. (Amarillo Sunset, North 40) |
As COVID-19 sanctions begin slowly lifting, we meander our way out of our quotidien cages to once again pull on rock. Since we only make the best decisions, the Red River Gorge with its tantalizing send-conditions of 91 degree weather and 91% humidity is an easy sell.
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| Maryam recites her movement on the rock (Miranda Rayne, The Shire) |
Day one places us at The Shire for warm-up. Chicken noodle, matzo ball, egg drop... climbing rainy weather is good because warming up on wet jug-holds is like grabbing bowls of warm soup and I love soup.
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| During brief bouts of intense sunlight Jan ascends to a higher plane (Monkey in the Middle, The Old Zoo) |
There's no line on Amarillo Sunset. Can't pass up this opportunity. I climb up and take so many 20-foot whippers my stomach starts to rebel. After a quick lunch I re-tie in ready to fail but at least lock in beta. I nervous-dyno my way up moves even shorter people would calmly static. Somehow am still hanging on. I secretly wish I fall so I could stop trying hard. The most poisonous-looking spider ever supportively follows me up the last two bolts. I clip the chains in a daze as I accidentally check off a bucket-list item on the first day.
Peep the vid, smash that Like and Subscribe fam!!
| July 2, 2020 Ticklist | |||
| Miranda Rayne | Lead / Day Flash | Red River Gorge > PMRP > The Shire | 5.9 Sport |
| Bulldozer | Lead / Onsight | Red River Gorge > PMRP > The Shire | 5.10a Sport |
| Amarillo Sunset | Lead / Fell/Hung | Red River Gorge > PMRP > North 40 | 5.11b Sport |
| Amarillo Sunset | Lead / Redpoint | Red River Gorge > PMRP > North 40 | 5.11b Sport |
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| Jan models impeccable belay technique as I flex Pixel's Portrait Mode (Miranda Rayne, The Shire) |
...
Rival Wall. Jan and Maryam warm up on Rorschach Inkblot Test. I train headgame on the mossy slimy Monobrow. Jan isn't feeling it until he sees my beautiful ballet up the arete harhar. We all do a lap. Around the corner, the world's pumpiest 5.10c. 3 bolts up I am breathing like I'm giving birth. I come down 5 pounds of water-weight lighter. Jan ties in and floats up the climb (how?). Maryam gives it a burn. We then work the 5.10d next door and both fall once the holds stop being spoon-fed us.
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| underneath a threshing sky, within the gaping maw, a tender soul provides consciousness to the work of eons passing (The Old Zoo, Red River Gorge) |
| July 3, 2020 Ticklist | |||
| Monobrow | Lead / Onsight | Red River Gorge > PMRP > Rival Wall | 5.9 Sport |
| Delayed Gratification | Lead / Onsight | Red River Gorge > PMRP > Rival Wall | 5.10c Sport |
| Hatfield | Lead / 1-Hang | Red River Gorge > PMRP > Rival Wall | 5.10d Sport |
...
Just Jan and Me today. After a quick lap on Miranda Rayne, Jan onsights K.S.B. as I finally redpoint it after years of attempts. Feeling strong and stoked as we both go for Amarillo. I wanted a re-send to make sure I actually did it the first day and it wasn't a dream. Thankfully, no un-sends today.
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| This post contains a dog tax (Red River Gorge, KY) |
| July 4, 2020 Ticklist | |||
| Miranda Rayne | Lead / Day Flash | Red River Gorge > PMRP > The Shire | 5.9 Sport |
| K.S.B. | Lead / Day Flash | Red River Gorge > PMRP > The Shire | 5.10d Sport |
| Amarillo Sunset | Lead / Day Flash | Red River Gorge > PMRP > North 40 | 5.11b Sport |
| No Sleep 'Til Campton | Lead / Onsight | Red River Gorge > PMRP > What About Bob | 5.10b/c Sport |
...
We head to the Gallery with my sights on my first 5.12a, Starry Night. Cheekily claimed by many to be one of the best 5.11s in the Red, I would happily tick it and run. I punt off due to bad beta and worse body tension. Jan figures out much better beta but falls due to fatigue from trying Gold Rush. Maryam dusts off the cobwebs of her lead game with No Brain, No Pain. We'll come back tomorrow and take down these suckers.
| July 7, 2020 Ticklist | |||
| Crimpy and the Brain | Lead / Onsight | Red River Gorge > PMRP > The Gallery | 5.9 Sport |
| No Brain, No Pain | Lead / Onsight | Red River Gorge > PMRP > The Gallery | 5.10b Sport |
| Starry Night | Lead / Fell/Hung | Red River Gorge > PMRP > The Gallery | 5.12a Sport |
| Starry Night | Lead / 1-hang | Red River Gorge > PMRP > The Gallery | 5.12a Sport |
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| Maryam en pointe. A climber poised for grace. (One Brick Shy, The Old Zoo) |
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| RIP Jan. Some climbers go up this line only to NEVER RETURN. (Starry Night, The Gallery) |
...
A new day, a new opportunity to flail on rock. A few warm-ups and then laser-focus. I flash Preacher's Daughter in the sun as it helps me shed a few pounds of water-weight. The heat is a big difference from the frigid temps since my last burn during Rocktoberbest 2019. Jan and I handily tick Starry Night. I can't have done it without his belay and Maryam's support. I tie into Gold Rush after to see how I stack up. It's still as impossible as ever.
Peep the vid, smash that Like and Subscribe fam!!
| July 8, 2020 Ticklist | |||
| A Brief History of Climb | Lead / Day Flash | Red River Gorge > PMRP > The Gallery | 5.10b Sport |
| The Preacher's Daughter | Lead / Day Flash | Red River Gorge > PMRP > The Gallery | 5.11- Sport |
| Starry Night | Lead / Day Flash | Red River Gorge > PMRP > The Gallery | 5.12a Sport |
| Gold Rush | Lead / Fell/Hung | Red River Gorge > PMRP > The Gallery | 5.11d Sport |
...
Rest days. Jan and Maryam don't get sick of me after two+ weeks of just us. I'm confused and worried for the day the jig is up. But until that day comes, these low-key chills mean more to me than all the hard sends put together.
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| Modern day parenting. This is how we distract Jan when he starts crying in his crib. (Zoe, KY) |
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| Miguel's Pizza's criminally inflationary pricing don't touch our meals. (Zoe, KY) |
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| Take me home, country roads (Beattyville, KY) |
...
Jan and I have our greedy eyes set on another boulder-oriented 5.12a, at the Zoo. We zip up some sweet lines before being unsurprisingly kicked off Hippocrite. After a few dynos and flappers, I scoot over and go bolt to bolt on Scar Tissue. 5.12a once again feels way out of my reach.
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| Jan swimming upwards through a turbulent rock sea (Monkey in the Middle, The Old Zoo) |
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| Maryam cleans up those draws (Monkey in the Middle, The Old Zoo) |
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| #belaytionshipgoals (Lynx Jinx, The Old Zoo) |
| July 11, 2020 Ticklist | |||
| Put Me In The Zoo | Lead / Onsight | Red River Gorge > Natural Bridge Region > The Old Zoo | 5.9+ Sport |
| One Brick Shy | Lead / Onsight | Red River Gorge > Natural Bridge Region > The Old Zoo | 5.10c Sport |
| Hippocrite | Lead / Fell/Hung | Red River Gorge > Natural Bridge Region > The Old Zoo | 5.12a Sport |
| Scar Tissue | Lead / Fell/Hung | Red River Gorge > Natural Bridge Region > The Old Zoo | 5.12a Sport |
...
We all decide we need fitness so we return to the Zoo to try to tick a bunch of enduro-lines. I onsight Monkey in the Middle by a nose. Jan is perplexed why I suck so hard. He remains full-steam as Maryam and I call it quits. Also, he's a slab climber now.
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| The story of Jan and hip mobility (Armadillo, The Old Zoo) |
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| Maryam enjoying some exposure on top-rope (One Brick Shy, The Old Zoo) |
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| How I feel hang-dogging those 5.10s (Zoe, KY) |
| July 12, 2020 Ticklist | |||
| Chimp | Lead / Onsight | Red River Gorge > Natural Bridge Region > The Old Zoo | 5.10b Sport |
| Monkey in the Middle | Lead / Onsight (barely) | Red River Gorge > Natural Bridge Region > The Old Zoo | 5.11a Sport |
| Lynx Jinx | Follow / 1-hang | Red River Gorge > Natural Bridge Region > The Old Zoo | 5.11c Sport |
...
Jan and Maryam go to real-life work for the next few days but we sneak out to The Gallery in the evening. Jan puts in more work on Gold Rush as I get my feelings hurt on Break the Scene. Big whips and raised pulses. 5.12a is so untenable.
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| Maryam belaying hard or hardly belaying? ahuehuehue... (Gold Rush, The Gallery) |
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| Cleaning draws is just as bad as hanging them up sometimes (Monkey in the Middle, The Old Zoo) |
| July 14, 2020 Ticklist | |||
| The King Lives On | Lead / Onsight | Red River Gorge > PMRP > The Gallery | 5.10b Sport |
| Dain Bramage | Lead / Onsight | Red River Gorge > PMRP > The Gallery | 5.10d Sport |
| Break the Scene | Lead / Fell/Hung | Red River Gorge > PMRP > The Gallery | 5.12a Sport |
...
We finally make it out to Muir Valley after dancing around it the whole trip. Free rental stick clips, clean bathrooms, and maintained trails still don't help us send as strong as we like. Jan gets spanked by Magnum Opus as I punt off Super Best Friends. Maryam crushes Air Ride Equipped's bouldery start but then gives up on the jug hauls. What?
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| The gang misses the rest of the gang (Muir Valley, Red River Gorge) |
| July 16, 2020 Ticklist | |||
| Out of the Dark | Lead / 1-Hang | Red River Gorge > Muir Valley > Sunbeam Buttress | 5.10c Sport |
| Radical Evolution | Lead / Onsight | Red River Gorge > Muir Valley > Sunbeam Buttress | 5.11a Sport |
| Predator | Lead / Flash | Red River Gorge > Muir Valley > Sunbeam Buttress | 5.11b Sport |
| Super Best Friends | Lead / Fell/Hung | Red River Gorge > Muir Valley > Solarium | 5.12b Sport |
| Sacriledge | Lead / Flash (barely) | Red River Gorge > Muir Valley > The Arsenal | 5.10d Sport |
...
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| We were so preoccupied with whether or not we could heel hook, we didn't stop to think if we should... (Magnum Opus, The Solarium) |
| July 17, 2020 Ticklist | |||
| Moonbeam | Lead / Onsight | Red River Gorge > Northern Gorge > Military Wall | 5.9 Sport |
| In The Light | Lead / 1-hang | Red River Gorge > Northern Gorge > Military Wall | 5.10c Sport |
| Fuzzy Undercling | Lead / 1-Hang | Red River Gorge > Northern Gorge > Military Wall | 5.11b Sport |
...
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| Jan has fully converted to slab climbing (Possum Lips, Military Wall) |
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| Mid-clip action shots let's go (Starry Night, The Gallery) |
| July 18, 2020 Ticklist | |||
| Frontal Lobotomy | Lead / Onsight | Red River Gorge > PMRP > The Gallery | 5.10b Sport |
| Dain Bramage | Lead / Day Flash | Red River Gorge > PMRP > The Gallery | 5.10d Sport |
| Break the Scene | Lead / Fell/Hung | Red River Gorge > PMRP > The Gallery | 5.12a Sport |
| Random Precision | Lead / Flash | Red River Gorge > PMRP > The Gallery | 5.11b Sport |
We spend our last day at The Gallery. I give Break the Scene another go and get smoked. Blame it on the wet holds. Jan onsights the technical and tricky Random Precision with aplomb. He inspires me and I huff and puff my way up it hoping to redeem some dignity after my earlier performance. We collect our things, check our ticklists and make our tick checks, and pack up for the journey home.
| Red River Gorge Bingo Scorecard | ||||
| Vacation Bros | Kid Crushers |
Torrential Downpour |
Cater-pillars | Creepy Crawlies |
Power Screams |
Miguel's Pizza |
Crag Dogs | Frogs | Danger Noodles |
"The New is so much better" |
Sketchy belay technique |
Mush-rooms | Turtles | Spun out at Sore Heel Lot |
Shitting on Miguel's Pizza |
Airy Whippers |
Beer Trailer |
Lizards |
Social Distance Fails |
Packed Gallery |
Crag Music |
Amarillo Sunset |
"Muir Valley is so soft" |
Humidity as thick as soup |
Bingo Photoblast:
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| This post contains another dog tax (The Gallery, Pendergrass-Murray Recreational Preserve) |
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| The hairs on the leg of this fella resembles the back of neck when I fall (What About Bob Wall, Pendergrass-Murray Recreational Preserve) |
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| Hey uh guys, what does a copperhead look like again? (The Gallery, Pendergrass-Murray Recreational Preserve) |
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| Trippy vibes (Pendergrass-Murray Recreational Preserve, Red River Gorge) |
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| The way this turtle hides in his shell is #BigMood (Pendergrass-Murray Recreational Preserve, Red River Gorge) |
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| Nothing like waking up to some eight-leggers in your backpack (Zoe, KY) |
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| Everyone's working their daily struggle (Sunbeam Buttress, Muir Valley) |
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| The lizard's camouflage can't beat my phone camera (Sunbeam Buttress, Muir Valley) |
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| Not sure if this is a spider or a crab but please kill it with fire (Zoe, KY) |
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| The Red is always crowded with onlookers. This one is unimpressed by my sends (The Gallery, Prendergrass-Murray Recreational Preserve) |
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| One day your pretty self will grow up to be a unremarkable moth (Zoe, KY) |
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