Wherever I May Roam 2021

Reenacting the climber on the Clif Bar but with plenty more requisite trying and determination (Chain Reaction, The Dihedrals) 📷: @zpdphoto

As COVID-19 vaccines begin rolling out, the doldrums of the American work-life "balance" loom ominous and threaten to pull me back into its clutches. I sneak a trip out west to visit old friends and pull on rock, keeping the dream alive a bit longer.

Free compression therapy and gin & tonics. Obligatory shot of pre-flight indulgence. (Equinox Body Lab, JFK)

We pit-stop in Seattle on our way to Oregon to get some good eats, be tourists, and see old friends. I wish got a picture of myself and Eric Z. from my Cooper days but instead here are photos of some glass squigglies.

One of the coolest exhibits mine eyes have ever did see. (Chihuly Garden and Glass, Seattle)

This rabbit somehow is able to distinguish real plants from glass plants (Chihuly Garden and Glass, Seattle)

This is supposed to be a travel/climbing blog but my god these octopuses. (Chihuly Garden and Glass, Seattle)

Inundated by sheer ubiquitous advertising, I'm convinced that Dungeness crab is the thing to get here. (Toulouse Petit Kitchen, Seattle) 

The Pacific Northwest offers cocktails at seemingly every single establishment. Be still my beating liver... (Cafe Flora, Seattle)

...

The Crooked River of Smith Rock in its casual glory. (Smith Rock State Park, Oregon)

Day one we look to snipe down a chill multipitch to get our sea-legs back. We meet up with Julien at Red Wall. He and his friends Paul and Alix test out the single-pitches while me and Ange take off on our mini-epic. 

Peep the vlog! Comment and smash that Like and Subscribe fam!!

April 3, 2021 Ticklist
Dirty Pinkos	Lead / Onsight	Smith Rock > Red Wall	5.9+ Sport (4 pitches)
Pop Art	Lead / 1-hang	Smith Rock > Red Wall	5.10b Sport
Dances with Clams	Lead / Onsight	Smith Rock > Red Wall	5.10a/b Sport

I'm not quite sure how Julien is staying on here... (Pop Art, Red Wall)

...

After a day of acclimating to Smith Rock's climbing, I no longer have an excuse for sucking. Today is trying the moves on my stretch goal for this trip: Chain Reaction 5.12c, the climb on the Clif Bar. I tape together a bricolage of clipstick and twigs from nearby flora and still am way too low to clip the first perma-draw hung at the height of the heavens. The locals take pity and lend me their giganto-sticks. My dignity bruised and mental game low, I proceed to punt off the starting moves over and over. Angela, who's never climbed 5.12c, offers to give it a shot and easily shows me the way. I spend the next hour taking whips to the face and cheat my way up the stupid rig. If this climb goes down, it'll be an epic battle.

The stark resemblance of this rock climb to the Clif Bar art is uncanny. (Chain Reaction, The Dihedrals)

April 5, 2021 Ticklist
Nine-Gallon Buckets	Lead / Onsight	Smith Rock > Morning Glory Wall	5.10c Sport (2 pitches)
Cool Ranch Flavor	Lead / Onsight	Smith Rock > Morning Glory Wall	5.11b Sport
Cool Ranch Flavor Extension	Lead / 1-hang	Smith Rock > Morning Glory Wall	5.12a Sport
Chain Reaction	Lead / Fell/hung	Smith Rock > The Dihedrals	5.12c Sport

...

Today we head towards The Monuments for a chill day only to realize it's closed for raptor nesting. The birds around here act like they own the place. We meet a pair of local gals headed way out to Koala Rock and decide to caravan along.

Perched on a marsupial in the distant company of snowcapped stratocones the journey continues ever upward. (Cool Air, Koala Rock)

It gives me simple pleasure whenever I encounter super-saiyan-esque plants in this beautiful world. (Koala Rock, The Marsupials)

April 6, 2021 Ticklist
Suck My Kiss	Lead / Onsight	Smith Rock > The Marsupials > Koala Rock	5.9+ Sport
Cool Air	Lead / Onsight	Smith Rock > The Marsupials > Koala Rock	5.11a Sport
Through Being Cool	TR / Fell/hung	Smith Rock > The Marsupials > Koala Rock	5.11b Sport
Buffalo Power	Lead / Onsight	Smith Rock > The Marsupials > Koala Rock	5.10c Sport

...

Lily drives up from LA and visits us as I'm back on the project today. As I ponder the strange phenomena of the hordes at Smith this week, the fact that it's regional Spring Break dawns on me like a bowling ball striking the pins. I warm up and numb out on the only open line, a technical 5.11 and it's mostly downhill from there.

To fall when chimney climbing means Pachinko-ing down to your death but gosh if it doesn't make for beautifully awkward photos. (Rebirth, The Dihedrals)

Lily and Ange survey the gorgeous landscape of their upcoming battle. (Hawk's Nest, Northeast Face)

Only two years of climbing in and Ange's footwork is already better than mine (Hawk's Nest, Northeast Face)

April 8, 2021 Ticklist
Freshly Squeezed	Lead / Fell/hung	Smith Rock > The Dihedrals	5.11a Sport
Chain Reaction	Lead / Fell/hung	Smith Rock > The Dihedrals	5.12c Sport
Moondance	Lead / 1-hang	Smith Rock > The Dihedrals	5.11c Sport

...

Due to morning meetings, we meet Julien for a half-day outing. I try not to try too hard but blow my load anyways on a bouldery 5.11 called Heresy that someone hilariously nicknamed "20 feet of trying." After missing the dyno 5+ attempts, I do it the technical but unfulfilling way and go home with a hung head.

Whoops! Forgot to mention there will be a dog tax for this blog post (Christian Brothers Wall, Smith Rock)

Still struggling on 5.10s just the same as on 5.12s. Sometimes I feel doomed to be a gumby. (Double Trouble, Christian Brothers Wall) 📷: @julienbrice

April 9, 2021 Ticklist
Double Trouble	Lead / Onsight	Smith Rock > Christian Brothers > East Side	5.10b Sport
Heresy	Lead / Fell/hung	Smith Rock > Christian Brothers > East Side	5.11c Sport
Heresy	Lead / Fell/hung	Smith Rock > Christian Brothers > East Side	5.11c Sport
Heresy	Lead / Redpoint	Smith Rock > Christian Brothers > East Side	5.11c Sport

Bonus ex post facto vid! Comment and smash that Like and Subscribe fam!!

...

Alix's friends come out and take us to The Zoo. I wasn't supposed to climb hard today but it's rare to get some Red River Gorge overhang here at Smith so I go for a whirl on a few things. Hanging out afterwards at a brewery and food-truck stop I unfortunately realize that the food out here just... really... sucks. Change my mind.

Julien I'm going to need to see a license on account of you being a ROPE-GUN! (Don's something(?), The Zoo)

Just call me King George III the way I'm levying the dog tax up in here. (The Zoo, Smith Rock)

April 10, 2021 Ticklist
Don's Something (unsure)	Lead / Onsight	Smith Rock > The Zoo	5.9/10a Sport
Don's Something (unsure)	Lead / Onsight	Smith Rock > The Zoo	5.9/10a Sport
Relevant to my Interests	Lead / Onsight	Smith Rock > The Zoo	5.10d Sport
Immortal for a Limited Time	Lead / Fell/hung	Smith Rock > The Zoo	5.12a Sport
Immortal for a Limited Time	Lead / Fell/hung	Smith Rock > The Zoo	5.12a Sport
One Trick Pony	TR / Onsight	Smith Rock > The Zoo	5.11a Sport

...

Another day out to lay siege to Chain Reaction. I look for a chill warm-up and settle on Wedding Day. It is immediately hard off the ground and I am uncomfortably focused the whole time through. I tie into Chain a couple of times and somehow manage to one-hang it (but with a huge break in-between the fall). I am both elated and in despair.

Zach reminds me of how crushers demonstrate the moves to a climb whenever I ask for tips. "It's easy!" they say. (Taiwan On, The Fourth Horseman)

Leila is definitely not a tourist and Zach is definitely not trying hard (Taiwan On, The Fourth Horseman)

April 12, 2021 Ticklist
Wedding Day	Lead / Onsight	Smith Rock > The Dihedrals	5.10b Sport
Chain Reaction	Lead / Fell/hung	Smith Rock > The Dihedrals	5.12c Sport
Chain Reaction	Lead / Fell/hung	Smith Rock > The Dihedrals	5.12c Sport
Taiwan On	Lead / Onsight	Smith Rock > The Fourth Horseman	5.10c Sport

...

Another day out to lay siege to Chain Reaction. No I didn't just copy and paste from above. I again get spanked on warm-up before tying into the project. I hope this climb goes down soon because the only thing worse than trying it over and over again is writing about trying it over and over again. I send nothing today :(

Zach is a much better climber AND photographer than I am. (Blasphemy, Christian Brothers Wall) 📷: @zpdphoto

Julien has retired from climbing and moved into the strongman hobby of tearing fridge-sized pieces of rock off the wall. (Blue Light Special, Shipwreck Wall)

Lily has not retired from climbing but when crag cats need love you give it to them. (East Face, Shipwreck Wall)

April 15, 2021 Ticklist
The Mark Cartier Memorial (MCM) Route	Lead / Fell/hung	Smith Rock > Christian Brothers > East Side	5.10c Sport
Chain Reaction	Lead / Fell/hung	Smith Rock > The Dihedrals	5.12c Sport
Chain Reaction	Lead / Fell/hung	Smith Rock > The Dihedrals	5.12c Sport
Chain Reaction	Lead / Fell/hung	Smith Rock > The Dihedrals	5.12c Sport
Blasphemy	Lead / Fell/hung	Smith Rock > Christian Brothers > East Side	5.11a Sport
Ring of Fire	TR / Fell/hung	Smith Rock > Christian Brothers > East Side	5.11d Sport

...

Feeling wrecked physically and emotionally after yesterday, the stoke was low to even take advantage of the good weather today. I decide to check out the local bridge because of its interesting feature... JUGS!

Peep the vlog! Comment and smash that Like and Subscribe fam!!

April 16, 2021 Ticklist
Maple Bridge Arch	Lead / Fell/hung	Oregon > Redmond > Maple Avenue Bridge	5.12b Sport

...

Alyssa and her crew pass through Oregon on their way back down to the Bay Area. We head out to the quintessential Smith Rock rest day establishment.

Alyssa dual-wields alpaca food as Eric documents this rare technique. (Crescent Moon Ranch, Terrebonne) 

This alpaca is what happens when a regular alpaca and a basketball have a kid. (Crescent Moon Ranch, Terrebonne)

Alyssa and I try to blend in with the locals. (Crescent Moon Ranch, Terrebonne)

Two years ago I came out to Smith Rock emotionally battered from some life events. I met Julien for the first time and hung out with Lily and Chris on a beautiful multi-pitch picked out by Lily. Good friends and climbing breathed some life back into me. I climb it again this year with both old and new faces.

A heartfelt thanks to new and old friends at the summit of a beautiful land. (Wherever I May Roam, Northwest Face)

You can't tell from the photo but this dude was REALLY close. Turkey vultures don't discern between carrion and dead climbers.  (Wherever I May Roam, Northwest Face)

Two more days in the thick of battle and Chain Reaction goes. When I first tied in, I couldn't even do the very first move and cheated through all the cruxes. After procedurally breaking down the climb, overcoming mental barriers, social anxiety, emotional rollercoasters from small success and great failure, and the unrelenting adjustment and perfection of beta it was actually a very beautiful process. A two-week journey / fourteen burns / six total on-days in retrospect seems like an ideally righteous amount of time for my first 5.12c. It's bittersweet and a bit surreal to have all that condensed down to a three-minute video, but such is life:

Peep the vid! Comment and smash that Like and Subscribe fam!!

April 20, 2021 Ticklist
Earth Boys	Lead / Retro-onsight	Smith Rock > Christian Brothers > East Side	5.10b Sport
Chain Reaction	Lead / Fell/hung	Smith Rock > The Dihedrals	5.12c Sport
Chain Reaction	Lead / Fell/hung	Smith Rock > The Dihedrals	5.12c Sport
Chain Reaction	Lead / Redpoint	Smith Rock > The Dihedrals	5.12c Sport

...

Over the next week I send some lines and punt off many more. Redpointing Chain seems like a fitting climax so I think I'll wrap this up here. Smith Rock you are one of the most casually beautiful places on Earth and our paths will meet again soon. A farewell barrage of snaps below. Thank you for reading!

Paul works his project next to mine in solidarity but also his is much harder. (Darkness at Noon, The Dihedrals)

Ange flashes some big cheese enjoying the bluebird day. (No Golf Shoes, The Fourth Horseman)

Packs of velociraptors scamper underfoot. In the distance, a brachiosaurus grazes on arboreal pastures. (Smith Rock State Park, Oregon)

For posterity, keeping this photo as a reminder of an unexpectedly perilous day in a wild country. Off-roading, downed trees, closed gates, stuck in snow; I'm glad it was with you all! (Paulina Falls, Deschutes National Forest)

and a cat tax for the road my dear reader (River Face, Shipwreck Wall)