168 Hours of Horseshoe Heaven 2023

Andrew forging upwards pulling up the team's slack (Commodus, Roman Wall)

Tornados and thunderous downpour mark an auspicious start to our trip to Arkansas. The rain stops just long enough to lure us out and commit to a day at the ranch. We get a few climbs in before the pregnant sky unleashes again. I'm agog watching Andrew unhurriedly recover in awful rest positions on the wall as water funnels into his face, as if the rock geometry is the CIA and he's a suspected terrorist. Sam remains positive on her first climbing trip, but of course she would be since it's everything as dry and safe as she dreamed.

Just a smidge damp. Don't mind the pelting rain and raging mud-waters (Prophecy Wall, Horseshoe Canyon Ranch)

Gaining some vertical ground while the enemy raincloud artillery reloads (Jihad, Prophecy Wall)

Andrew's tactic of eschewing good holds for the gnarliest crimps in view somehow works (The Controversy, North 40) 

March 31, 2023 Ticklist
Ramblin' Man	Lead / Onsight	Horseshoe Canyon Ranch > West Side > Prophecy Wall	5.8+ Sport
Jihad	Lead / Onsight	Horseshoe Canyon Ranch > West Side > Prophecy Wall	5.10a Sport
Learning to Fly	Lead / Flash	Horseshoe Canyon Ranch > West Side > Prophecy Wall	5.10c Sport
The Controversy	Lead / Onsight	Horseshoe Canyon Ranch > North Side > North 40	5.9 Sport
Lion Tamer	Lead / Onsight	Horseshoe Canyon Ranch > North Side > North 40	5.9- Sport
Private Property	Lead / Onsight	Horseshoe Canyon Ranch > North Side > North 40	5.10a Sport
African Herbman	Lead / Onsight	Horseshoe Canyon Ranch > North Side > North 40	5.8 Sport
Meck, Mecke, What's the Difference?	Lead / Onsight	Horseshoe Canyon Ranch > North Side > North 40	5.10a Sport
Sour Girl	Lead / Onsight	Horseshoe Canyon Ranch > North Side > North 40	5.10b Sport

...

Hoping to beat the crowds we set out for the ranch the moment they open. We roll up to an abandoned lot and subzero conditions. Surely just coincidence. The winds howl as if summoning back yesterday's tornados and I completely numb out. Sam unstoppably powers through climb after climb as Andrew strategizes his day. I cheat through the cruxes on my project and lower off morosely ruminating about my ability. I pull back onto my project and make all the moves and elatedly ruminate about my ability. My emotions are a storm in a teacup.

Starting to suspect Andrew may be Amish considering his skill in milking... rest stances (Mr Magoo, Magoo Rock) 

The climbing miles Sam's accruing today is worth enough for a whole week (Mixed Reviews, Magoo Rock)

On second thought climbing IS kind of dumb let's just go to the playground instead (East Side, Horseshoe Canyon Ranch)

April 1, 2023 Ticklist
Swamp Rat	Lead / Onsight	Horseshoe Canyon Ranch > East Side > Cliffs of Insanity	5.8 Sport
Horseshoes and Hand Grenades	Lead / Flash	Horseshoe Canyon Ranch > East Side > The Far East	5.11a Sport
Supersoul Sureshot	Lead / Fell/Hung	Horseshoe Canyon Ranch > East Side > The Far East	5.12c Sport
Supersoul Sureshot	Lead / Fell/Hung	Horseshoe Canyon Ranch > East Side > The Far East	5.12c Sport
Orange Crush	Lead / Onsight	Horseshoe Canyon Ranch > East Side > The Far East	5.9+ Sport

...

Rest days. Sam is the only one convinced about active recovery. We go for a cave hike and she takes a spill on slippery rock. I feel terrible but I laugh anyway. Maybe Andrew had the right idea staying in. We all get floored over how good the restaurants are. I've said it once I'll say it again the company I get to keep on these trips means more to me than any send a thousand times over.

What is it about team dinners that makes life so worth living? (Low Gap Cafe, Low Gap)

Had no idea Cajun cuisine was so prominent here but I'm not complaining about this snapper crawfish etouffée (Low Gap Cafe, Low Gap)

The atchafalaya steak boudin is as good as it is hard to pronounce (Cliff House Inn, Jasper)

So many goats on this trip but no goat products so I got the lamb it kinda counts (Low Gap Cafe, Low Gap)

Sam smiles bravely despite her bruised dignity from her tumble (Lost Valley, Ponca)

How far does water have to fall for it to be considered a waterfall? #deepthoughts (Eden Falls, Lost Valley)

...

Today we are each in pursuit of our own white whale. My hopes plummet as water literally seeps down mine. Sam starts the send-train by conquering her unfinished Orange Crush. I despondently warm up as Andrew floats up his goal of Purple Nehi. By the time the gang's elation subsides it's my turn on a now-drier Supersoul. I immediately biff off the start. Recombobulation. I crank back on and somehow hold it together to the chains. The climb felt so hard. The climb felt so easy. I don't even know anymore.

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April 3, 2023 Ticklist
Montezuma's Toe	Lead / Onsight	Horseshoe Canyon Ranch > East Side > The Far East	5.8+ Sport
Emotional Content	Lead / Onsight	Horseshoe Canyon Ranch > East Side > The Far East	5.10b Sport
Plumb Bob	Lead / Onsight	Horseshoe Canyon Ranch > East Side > The Far East	5.11a Sport
Supersoul Sureshot	Lead / Redpoint	Horseshoe Canyon Ranch > East Side > The Far East	5.12c Sport
Green Goblin	Lead / Onsight	Horseshoe Canyon Ranch > North Side > North 40	5.8 Sport
Crimp Scampi	Lead / Fell/Hung	Horseshoe Canyon Ranch > North Side > North 40	5.10d Sport
Cotton Candy	Lead / Redpoint	Horseshoe Canyon Ranch > North Side > North 40	5.6 Sport
Dancing Outlaw	Lead / Onsight	Horseshoe Canyon Ranch > North Side > North 40	5.9+ Sport

...

Our bodies are weak but our spirits are willing as we trundle out the house. I watch the team shift into gear with gusto and it inspires me. I get to the top of my warm-up and see my day-goal looming still above. Always good at sticking with the plan, I coax my creaky body to continue upwards in a cold attempt instead of resting. Colour me surprised as I punt off and careen into the ledges below. My previously-injured glute flares up fierce.

Andrew cutting a path across the sky (Orange Crush, The Far East)

Sam could not look more at home on the rock than here (Commodus, Roman Wall)

The Southern Pine Beetle looks a bit more at home than Sam (Middle East, Horseshoe Canyon Ranch)

Just one dog tax this time (Magoo Rock, Horseshoe Canyon Ranch)

April 4, 2023 Ticklist
Commodus	Lead / Onsight	Horseshoe Canyon Ranch > East Side > Roman Wall	5.10b Sport
Maximus	Lead / Fell/Hung	Horseshoe Canyon Ranch > East Side > Roman Wall	5.12a Sport
Commodus	TR	Horseshoe Canyon Ranch > East Side > Roman Wall	5.10b Sport
Maximus	Lead / Redpoint	Horseshoe Canyon Ranch > East Side > Roman Wall	5.12a Sport
Caesar's Tossed Salad	Lead / Onsight	Horseshoe Canyon Ranch > East Side > Roman Wall	5.10c Sport
When Panties Fly	Lead / Flash	Horseshoe Canyon Ranch > Middle East > Tool Buttress	5.10d Sport

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...

I'm yanked out of sweet slumber as every phone in the house erupts. Klaxon tornado alerts blare up and down the campground as everyone groggily shambles to the nearest "sturdiest" structure a.k.a. the laundry building. I calmly Google "what to do if a tornado picks you up." We wait out the storm swaying like zombies and try to make the best of the dreary day. Andrew's try-hard puts me to shame. Sam climbs six grades higher now than when we started last week. I meekly send a few lines trying to not aggravate my injured left butt.

Andrew tenaciously puts burn after burn on his new project (Lavender Eye, North 40)

I'm not sure how nor why Sam gets into tantric sex knots instead of rock climbing (Dancing Outlaw, North 40)

Sam turns this climb into an R rating with more of her gratuitous heel-hooking (Sour Girl, North 40)

April 5, 2023 Ticklist
Paul's Redemption	Lead / Onsight	Horseshoe Canyon Ranch > North Side > North 40	5.7 Sport
Frankenberry	Lead / Onsight	Horseshoe Canyon Ranch > North Side > North 40	5.9+ Sport
Sonny Jim	Lead / Fell/Hung	Horseshoe Canyon Ranch > North Side > North 40	5.11a Sport
Lavender Eye	Lead / Flash	Horseshoe Canyon Ranch > North Side > North 40	5.12a Sport
Ace in the Hole	Lead / Onsight	Horseshoe Canyon Ranch > North Side > North 40	5.9+ Sport

...

Our crew this time was small but we made up for it in enthusiasm. I've never before had the overwhelming pleasure of everyone in full contribution. We all had goals yet were so supportive of each other's. From team meals to rest activities the stoke went around a hundred times. Thank you guys so deeply for an unforgettable trip. For a brief fleeting week, we were a happy family in Horseshoe Heaven.

Posing like proud new homeowners on our piece of Horseshoe Heaven (Dogwood Springs, Jasper)